Your Right to be Wrong


196c1fc0bb9af5fe5bde8d38bbd2790bWe all make different life choices. We have different views on how we see things. What we think could be the best for us might be the worst for others. This is a world full of all different personalities, way of thinking and way of living, but for sure one thing should be in common, we all deserve the right to be wrong at some point in our lives.

We can’t deny the fact that nobody likes to commit mistakes. Wrong choices bring disappointments. It is one of the things that can pull us down heavily. On the other hand, wrong choices also makes us realize to be more careful in the future. This is something that helps pull us up. Making temporary wrong choices give us permanent lesson to help us in our future decisions. It is a pre-requisite for your growth as a person.

Put it in a perspective where you brought yourself to the wrong destination because you got on the wrong bus. You will always find your way back home. From there, you can start over again in your real journey. You might find yourself in a highway under the noon sun with the warm breeze that rolls a hay ball. You might not know where to start, but at least, you already know the roads that are not yours to be taken.

In decisions, if it is right, you win. If it is wrong, you lose something, but you gain lessons.  Make mistakes. You earn something that could not be taken away by anyone, the experience, the memories and your learnings. If others can’t be gentle for your mistake, then be gentle for yourself.


Fight to Live or Live to Fight

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Another normal day……for everyone. For you, it’s another day done you’ve fought to live.

For you, it was another day that you have survived. Tick! tock! It scares you as you hear the sound of the tick of the clock. The sound that reminds you tomorrow, it will be the same, you start by fixing yourself, wear the smiley face and be with people that you have to like. Again and again, and again. Survive the day until you reach the night where you are by yourself, again.

Alone in the dark. That’s how you like it. You make wonders on your own that people will never understand. You do it on your own because they would not appreciate the beauty that you can do. You isolate yourself so you can shine on your own, because people have a different perception of beauty, and your magic will never be their’s. People like seeing and enjoy the sun while you decorate the dark sky with the moon and the stars. That’s what you want, to be the person that lights up when no one else does. The person that chooses the right people to see when you illuminate. You light up for people who are not used to be in the dark, the place where you grow. The place that you will always choose to stay so you can walk people through the light again.

You try to blend yourself so you won’t get too much or lose too much for others to see. In reality, you are a gem under a gravel waiting to be unfold. Resume life. Win and Lose. Give and take. Breathe. Inhale and exhale.

For now, cherish what you have survived, as you continue to grow your trunk and grow leaves so you can shade the people you love. Continue to grow strong on your own and let them notice you once you have grown strong. Be the tree that gives people the place to rest. Be the tree that gives people the shade when it rains or shine. Be the tree that blooms beautiful flowers for people. Be the tree that is home to the million fireflies that shine like the stars in a dark night.

You may be fighting to live now so just go on with winning the battle. The war is endless, keep winning and losing until you live to fight, not just for yourself, but for the people you love.

A Beautiful Destructed Part of You

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When it is there, it is either you love it or hate it, but when you lose it, you miss it.

You have been used to staying up the late nights. You have been used to digging into yourself and mining the gold out of your soul. You are used to making something so precious after you almost suffocate yourself down to the deepest part of you. You dive in and destroy yourself by mining the goods. The precious words that speak not just for yourself, but for everyone you know who can be fighting the same war. The war that is for everyone, but only the brave survives and only the special ones make peace with it, to which you are one. You destroy yourself because you know how to fix it. You are in a cycle within yourself.

You miss the feeling because you miss a part of yourself. You miss it because it has made you grow brave enough to face it. You dive in even if you’re not sure if you can make something out of it or break yourself for nothing. You self-destruct but not sure if you’ll make a great explosion. You think that you are not making the most of you because you’ve learned to make something good out of something so bad in you. You are not used for yourself being happy, so when you are, you feel like you are losing not just a part of yourself, but your whole you. Without your lonely thoughts, you feel worthless.

Being happy makes a part of you sad, because it makes you feel that you are letting a big part of yourself go. You are used to being lonely, so you do not now how to embrace happiness when it tries to come in. Loneliness have been a big part of your life, you feel like it gives you a sense to live. It makes you live for others who are not strong enough like you.

You do not need to let go, you just got to learn how to embrace the happiness that’s knocking  in and pray that you can make something as beautiful as what you can do from your loneliness. You invest in your feelings so you’re wondering if you’ll learn how to make something of the unusual feeling.

Happiness is indeed a choice, but not for those who have learned how to make beautiful things happen from loneliness. For them, happiness is like a strong wind that passes through. You can feel it, but when it leaves, it only leaves a happy memory and good experiences .

And if it does, it is another thing for them to explore and for them to create something more.

The Rage of Waves

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What is more heartbreaking than getting yourself drowned a hundred times by the large waves of thoughts and just when you finally learned how to surf to make the most out of it, it’s gone.

Before, we used to be scared on how these waves would consume us, so it gradually taught us to learn how to swim. Swimming in this rage of thoughts, it made you learn the ability to surf. Surfing in a way that you know not just to go with the flow, but make something special from it.

Now, just thinking how we would lose the waves when we finally learned how to play with it makes us sad. Learning how to play with the waves can always take us to the seashore. The safe and calm place– 

Life is a beach, is it not? It gives you all these ideas to play tricks on your mind that you can do everything. Is this life giving us another larger waves of thought that we need to overcome? Is this life sending us to a bigger ocean for us to conquer? Whatever it is, as long as we live, pretty sure that the waves will keep coming. The better we are, the larger they become. We all want to be a better version of ourselves than we were yesterday, but only up to that. There are people who aim to be the best as soon as they can but if so, life would be no sense if we have reached the best version of ourselves. Life should give you a thrill, not a child’s play. People can only go better and better but not the best, yet.

For the larger waves coming, our surfing skills may not be enough. Brace yourself to catch the waves and the surprises behind it. No matter how unexpectedly large it is, don’t be scared. No matter how many times we drown ourselves, we can always try to swim up and surf again. It is a part of what life is about. An enormous ocean.

Getting Up, Growing Up

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The good old days, you were just another kid who wanted everything in the world. To have all the superpowers, money, have all the fried chicken, all the toys, and all the friends you can. Remember how you cried over things you don’t get?

Look at you, you have grown up. You learned that life fucks everyone. Things didn’t go out the way your younger self want it to be. You just can’t cry yourself out. Think about how your younger self looks into you right now, pretty sure that little thing is sad.

As we grow older, we get to find ways on how we think we could fulfill that dream of that little kid. We get to the point that we were being too hard on ourselves that we even set personal standards. “Standards”, a word from the society on how it sets the view to its people and its goals, the more you live to it, the more favorable. There you are, getting too harsh and setting them even to yourself, even if is not on your favor.

You don’t have to be one of those people getting in line on that old track. Keep going for the things that you didn’t know anything about. Give yourself the time to take several paths. All the roads not taken that you see to reach the line. Don’t get that little kid disappointed when the path didn’t go well, and that some things don’t just go your way. Pretty sure that kid would tell you to keep going.

Open up the kid, that teenager, that there is more to the world than what they wanted. That you, as a grown-up has got to know what the best is for you. That as you grew up, you didn’t want to be the richest man in the world. Just enough to live your means, and be able to help the environment, the community, and the helpless. Just be able to express yourself and be happy.

As you continue to grow up, it’s okay to not be content with who you are today. Just be contented with more simple things in life when you have given your best. Consider the things more than that the rewards you get for being gentle with yourself by any means given by God.

By now, you just have to respond to that young kid, “let’s get moving, we have been through many tough times. Things haven’t been easy for us, but look how far we’ve come”. Do yourself a favor, loosen up yourself and tighten up your seat belt on your way to a better version of you.

An Endless Roller Coaster

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At first you want to live the life, the next you feel tired, and then the next you break down, and then you build yourself. Repeat.

It is tiring. One time you’re on a peak of joy like you’re meant to carry the world, and then meant to fall on your knees later. It is exhausting to live, on this repetitive cycle. There are days when the best choice is not caring about anything at all, while in the deeper you, you really care and you scream for a hint of what your purpose really is and what your future would be. Some days you are living without feeling anything and some days you feel everything inside all at the same time.

It is wanting to have a reboot of everything. It is with hopes up that you’ll have everything you’ll ever need to get everything you wanted. But no, life doesn’t work that way. In reality, you must live while you get everything that you can, so you can use it while you keep on going.

We have to face it, life is not all about going up to the top. Or else, it will be pointless. It is made to have slopes so you gain extra force to go higher. It is an endless journey.

Life tells us that we should know how to handle and take care of everything while we still have the view of the top, so we won’t drop ourselves to the deepest pit when problems drag us down. We need to compose ourselves with a mind that sets us to the better ways we can take and a heart full of courage to keep us going on the path whenever life gets too intricate.

We need to equip ourselves with courage to keep on going, and reinforce it with what we can earn along the way. We are humans, we are meant to feel while we live our lives. It is the unspoken law to every soul ever created.


Anyone can be a Prison

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Some people are just given the luck to be born free. For some people, it is not. To be free is a heavy choice to be made. Some people are born and then made to choose over freedom, self-fulfillment, and to please the people they care for.

Not everything that people do reflects who they really are. The person that they are deep inside. The soul inside the skin they are in. They might be doing something for a reason that is beyond what we are seeing. People are so quick to judge others simply by how they see them, but not knowing the story behind why they had to do such things or what turned them into someone that they really don’t want to be. It is a sad reality that people’s eyes prey on what they see without putting their foot on the shoe. At least everybody deserves the benefit of the doubt.

These are the people that scream for help in their cell. They are alone, and no matter how loud they scream, no one would hear them. They are locked up in their mind. They are those who do not know what price they need to pay in order to be freed. Provide them the food to survive while they take their time to free themselves, by providing support in any way you can on how they can they be their better version. Provide them visits in the jail through kind words, everyone needs someone even at one point in our lives.

People today have been very hard to each other, setting standards on what and what’s not is to float the boat. People need to understand that others might prefer to swim because that is what they think the best way they can do to reach the shore.

People can be a prison of their own selves because they do not know how to cope up with the people that surround them, and the environment that they live in. It could also be a choice, a choice made because of the people that they care for, and not for themselves. These are the people who choose to be a prison instead of following what they want to be, for the price of putting others before themselves.

These are the strongest people, the people who chose to compromise their freedom and themselves just to be the ‘best’ in the eyes of the people they care for.

The worst prison is the mind, and it also holds the key. It is the prison and it is the freedom. Some are prisoners and some are free-spirited. Don’t be the police, be a human.


The Monster isn’t Under the Bed

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Back in the days, we have always thought that the monster was under the bed. Until the time that we grow up and realize that they’re really not.

Now, we could only miss the times when we would get scared because of the monsters that would haunt us. We would cry ourselves out terrified of being left alone and getting caught by them. At least, we know we are safe up in our bed under our sheets.

Today it is scarier, the monsters are hiding inside our head, and they feed on our thoughts. They are born with us, to live with us. They provide us the urge to think and think, and think. Overthink everything. Before, we cry of being left alone, but now we like to be left alone with our demons, and live with them while they slowly kill us. It is scary and satisfying at the same time. There is no help. No matter how much people try to reach out, we would always choose to isolate ourselves because we feel safer on our own. The monsters live on our head and occupy our minds, they are everywhere inside us. We grew up thinking they would haunt us, but now we know they don’t need to, they’re already in our mind feasting with our thoughts.

Before, we just cry ourselves out, but now we cry out with our hearts. Our eyes don’t shed out the tears anymore, but our heart does and that silence will be our loudest cry. They are a part of us. They keep us awake and bring us to sleep. We’re not sure if we own them or they own us. We’re not sure if we wanna lose them or they just don’t exist. If ever they do, we still wouldn’t know if it is us or them. If ever they exist, the worst part is if we lose them, we’ll lose our-self too.

At the end of the day, maybe it all comes down to embracing every part of yourself. We are the monsters that are haunting us.

Maybe we should also open up ourselves out and take chances. We may not lose the monsters, but at least we might take over them. Before anything else, it is better to find acceptance in ourselves first than finding it from others.

This is Emptiness

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Again, it is late afternoon. You stare at nowhere and find yourself on an empty state. Nothing on your mind, nothing on your heart, just pure nothingness. You try to do something to make yourself feel, you try to reminisce and cherish memories to start-up the mood you want to feel, but you fail, miserably. You get the pen and paper to write your heart out, but nothing comes out. You are a nothing of yourself for the moment. You lost interest in the things that you used to like to do.

When was the last time that you have ever felt something like nothing? Is it really possible to feel that empty? How is it possible that we have put ourselves into such a situation? All but no answer. The feeling that there’s a massive hole in you that nothing can fill out. A kind of nothingness that is indescribable. You even start to question yourself but can’t find an answer. You try to dig into the deeper you but find nothing. You just like to lay on your bed and don’t feel like doing anything. Just nothingness, you just like to do nothing.

Even just wondering what to do with your empty thoughts and feelings makes you tired. There’s no escape. The world is just made of silly nothingness at the very moment.

As much as we want to get out of the hollowness, we can’t, it will all suddenly just come to you. We may like it or not being empty, but maybe sometimes, it is in the nothingness that we find that something. Something that would give the meaning to everything.

Even Yourself Deserves to be Happy

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It is the rainy season of the year. Day after day, the weather has always been gloomy. A weather as gloomy as you feel how your life is going. You have been searching for yourself and you need more time. Time to search for the things you really want to do, time to cherish moments for yourself. You have sacrificed a lot to deserve such a moment not for anyone or anything, but only about you.

But is it really all worth it?

As long as you’re happy, keep going. As long as you don’t compromise anything, as long as you are contented, it is worth it. It is time for you to be happy, you have already put yourself in situations not everyone can get through. And it is time for you to put yourself first, even for the first time. Even you, deserve some love from yourself. You don’t just give it all out.

Even the sky cries the heavy waters it has been holding before it shows its rainbow.

Raindrops are confetti from the sky, a sign of joy after the clouds have finally let go of something they have been carrying for a little while. You are just a human, you need to free up space for your heart and mind, for yourself. If you want to make your way up to happiness, you have to let go of the things that pull you down. You need this to see the rainbow you have been looking for. If you are seeking true tranquility, look for it, and you will find it in yourself.  Even you, deserve to be happy too.

It is good that you know how to value the people you care for and the values that you live by, and the things that speak of you. Most of all, you need to value yourself more than anything. You may have experienced frustrations and pain, been hurt and scarred, but remember that it all adds up to who you are right now and it does not reduce your value as a human. It sums up your imperfections that make up who you are.