There are sometimes that you feel down and cold. You’re not fine, not okay. You are hurt and in pain. You either feel as blank as a canvass or on the peak to an emotional breakdown. You’re lost on the sea of thoughts that have been wandering your mind all this time. You are conscious that you are on an island of situation that’s not right. Inescapable. A scenario of a self-pity that you are either lonely, pressured, helpless or hurt. You could be on a burden of something that you have been carrying all along but choose to ignore.
It’s fine that you are on a test. A test that can either put you up or break you down. It’s fine that you are alone, not everyone has to know your story. People could be judgmental and if building your wall is one way to comfort yourself, then do it. It’s fine to have barriers against people. It is also a way of protection. A way to protect yourself against what could people think, do and say. Only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious. Others will always say something instead of thinking of putting themselves on your shoes. Not anyone could understand as you do, you can’t please everyone. Individual differences also means that people could have different perspectives from what you have. What could be hard on you could be their piece of cake or the other way around. Individual differences has a vast meaning, everyone has differences, but only a few have a kind heart and an open mind. Be choosy on the people you trust, even the military has the saying that goes “Do not trust even the wall”, but it does not necessarily mean not to trust. It is an advise to know the people whom you could put your trust on.
There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself, especially when you know that you already had the scars, gained the lessons and heightened the tolerance. It is okay not to be okay because it helps you grow. You just got to know when you need to stop pitying yourself and start doing to move on. You should know when to keep up or give up. To keep moving, or to stop going. Whichever it is, it will surely help you to grow and be a to keep getting a better version of yourself.